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Che, querés un mate? This was a great piece!

Oh man, I feel like, in a way I'm like Roya's son. I don't think my mother ever thought I would end up living in the U.S. and basically live in English. I definitely feel I have failed to teach my kids Spanish for...reasons...but maybe it's not too late; after all I started learning English when I was seven.

Passing the TOEFL brought back memories, the score in this test determined your grade in the class back in high school. I can totally relate to it being the villain, for sure. That thing you said about making sense of vibrations in the air makes so much sense. Up until today, I still have CC turned on for everything I watch and I really need to pay attention during plays, movies because sometimes I still struggle understanding certain accents or idioms.

I'm glad you found healing and have restored that relationship!

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Gracias amigo!

I have a friend where I live who was talking about how hard it is to raise your kids in your native language in the U.S. Their main point was basically, my kids are surrounded by English all day, they want to speak in English, and when I am tired and just trying to get dinner together I don't also want to be the language police, so I just answer in English. I definitely sympathize with that, even without having kids.

I do know from another friend who is a linguist that studies second language acquisition that, for most of us, our brains are plastic enough until about 7 or 8 to easily learn a language in a way that we don't have to put in much effort and we can develop an accent that sounds like a native speaker. After that age it gets harder, though of course we all have different abilities. But even after that if we're motivated enough we can learn. So I guess I'd say both that it isn't too late, but also that it is completely understandable why its so hard to pass on those language skills.

And yes I think on some levels there are just aspects of spoken language that can always be hard to comprehend, even in our native languages, much less non-native languages. I had a similar experience to what you mentioned, of having to really pay attention, a couple of weeks ago. I went to a theater production of the book The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao that was in Spanish. The book is written by a Dominican-American author and so the dialogue was all in Spanish with lots of Dominican slang thrown in. They had a small screen that I had to consult more often that I'd like to admit. I went with my best friend. She is an English-Spanish courtroom interpreter. Her job is literally to be well versed in all the many varieties of spoken English and Spanish. She is, in fact, one of the best people in the world at this (I say this because she recently passed the federal interpreter exam, which has a passage rate of 5-8% per year), and even she said that she had to consult the accompanying screen a few times.

Thanks again for reading and commenting, Walther! I really poured my heart into this essay. I know it is long and so it really means a lot that you took the time to read it, reflect on it, and leave such a lovely comment.

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It does take a good amount of brain power to be constantly switching between languages. When my parents visit I'm exhausted at the end of the day because I'm going back and forth between and Spanish.

That thing about brain plasticity is good news. I have toyed with the idea of doing full immersion, much like you did, and take the whole family for a month to a small rural town in Mexico and just have the kids exposed to the language. One day.

Now that you mention different dialects in Spanish, I'll send you a video via Notes that I think you and your friend will enjoy.

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Spencer! I’m so glad you spent the time on this one. It’s really special. The reader can tell that the hard, emotional work was put into the story and into understanding the emotions you grappled with.

I enjoyed everything about this. Especially how you tied in the play, rooting your personal experiences to something solid.

And the music was such a great, unexpected addition. I hope you’re proud of this one.

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Thanks Taegan that really means a lot! It is kind of like a cool chain of human connection, from the playwright (through the actors) to me and from me (through the piece) to a reader. I have it on my to-do list to try and see if I can get in touch with the playwright for an interview because I feel like that would be a cool way to close the circle.

I'm really glad you enjoyed it and that you found the music to be a cool addition. That was a last minute choice as I was doing my last round of edits in the Substack editor. It was mostly spontaneous, in a piece that was otherwise very thought through, so I wasn't quite sure whether it would work or be distracting. But going through hundreds of old loops and fragments was cool and I am thinking of how I want to use them in the future.

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I think both of those ideas are really exciting!

The interview would make a great complimentary piece. And the music... I feel like there's a lot of potential there. Mixing up mediums really help add texture to a narrative.

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Yeah, there's a lot of potential with the music. An idea I had, inspired by One Word actually, is to select an individual loop, listen to it every day for a set period of time to explore its meaning (maybe a week rather than a month as you do with One Word) and then publish a post inspired by that loop after a week (or whatever time period I choose).

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Absolutely love that idea. Would you title the piece of music before or after you write the post? I feel like either would work, but they alter the experience in their own ways

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That's a good point, which I hadn't even thought about. I'd probably want to title it after, with the idea that I'd like to try and listen to the music loops with as empty of a mind as possible to just see what ideas bubble up. Also maybe listen to it in different settings (on a walk, on a hike, on the subway, at my desk) and see how those different environments influence my experience.

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Yeah, I like that choice. Kind of like free falling into the unknown! You could make it a series, too, if you wanted, and commit to like 5 of them or something.

Lots of potential with this idea. You gotta do it!

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